space

Childhood Friend Doesn’t Get Why She Had to Be Here

We’ve all had that one thing we couldn’t get out of. A pointless obligation we were forced to attend because not going would forever mark us as an ungrateful person who had the audacity to enjoy their life.

Such is the case with harem protagonist C+-‘s childhood friend Orange. “I don’t know why I’m here”. “He’s done nothing but ignore me since we were kids. I don’t even like him that much, I only became his friend out of pity. You’d be surprised  how hard it is for someone to make friends when they’re basically the physical manifestation of oatmeal.

I know I owe him for the time he performed CPR on my pet tuna, and the popularity of the series is great for my career but…I had to pass up starring in a mecha series for this. Now, instead of being a badass mech pilot, I get to spend 23 episodes chasing this bag of air around. I mean, yeah it’s cool the show’s being filmed on an island and the beautiful views are great for bragging to my Instagram followers. But I could’ve gone to space, and space is way cooler.

Giant Mech Having Trouble Deciding Where It Will Crash on Earth

Transport Cruiser IF, Space — Recently graduated battle mech Singularity is making, what could be, the most important decision of its life, and it isn’t going well.

“It’s a pain” it stated. “This used to be way easier. The Directors would give you coordinates, you’d crash near a high-school in Japan, make sure the kid finds you and boom, done”. However, the head of HR decided that it would improve employee satisfaction if we got to choose our destination”.

“I mean, the freedom is nice I guess, I just wish they had done more testing before it was implemented. All of us are fresh from the academy and now we need to make a life-altering choice with basically no knowledge of earth. That’s a little extreme”.

During the interview someone from HR came by to ask if Singularity had picked its destination yet. “I think I’ll play it safe and go to Japan. Basically everyone goes there so finding a pilot shouldn’t be too hard”. And with that it was ready.

“Ok, coordinates are in, looks like I’ll crash somewhere around Saitama”. “All I need now is to have one of the princesses trapped inside of me and a corpse shoved inside the cockpit to make it look like I was stolen”. and with that it left.

Can’t wait to see how this predictable mecha series goes.