anime

Demon Lord Files Petition to Nerf Isekai Protagonist

Another season another exceptionally average isekai series. While it will undoubtedly make both fans and executives happy there’s at least one person who isn’t having a good time. The Demon Lord filed a complaint about how overpowered the new protagonist are and how the gods need to “nerf his ass”.  “He’s way too op the gods need to fix that.”  I mean they created a world where you are born into a specific class (level 80 eldritch summoner btw) so why can this punk freakin multiclass”! ” He should either be a fighter or a rogue or a mage or a witchblade or a summoner or an Apache attack helicopter (no idea what that is) not all of them.  And if they won’t do that then they should at least allow me to summon god-class abominations more than once a week. That and not have to be a part of his harem, that would be the ultimate super power.

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Impending Catastrophe Waiting For Someone to Monologue on How Peaceful Everything is.

Offscreen, Tragic Flashback- It is yet another idyllic day in the town of Tragic Flashback and all is great. Unless you’re The Impending Calamity.

“This iss soooo freakin’ boooooring”. I’ve been here for TWO EPISODES and no one has monologued about how peaceful and perfect their life is here. How am I supposed to  kill everything they love if they don’t go on…and on…and on about how wonderful everything is? I mean sure, I could just show up anyway but that would be both super unprofessional and hurt my chances at getting any other roles.

Chaos Ensues After Absolute Madman Finishes Series Before Reviewing It

It was on this day that hell came forth. Reviewer, Insertusernamehere, posted a review of a totally not fake show I didn’t want to come up with a name for. However, readers were baffled by how detailed it was. After some investigating by intrepid citizen journalists it came out that this user had actually watched the entire series before commenting on it. When this revelation came to light the internet lost its shit.

Pandemonium raged through forums like wildfire. Some users were in utter disbelief with one stating: “why would somebody do that? Being informed is a waste of time”. Other users were filled with unquenchable rage stating: ” how am I supposed to rail on a series when I’m presented with a well researched and unbiased review”!

This truly a crisis

 

Study Finds That Tragic Backstories Could be Made Less Tragic if Nothing Tragic Happens

Allegedly Oslo, Norway— A new study, totally not conducted by us, has found the solution to the nigh infinite amount of tragic backstories: don’t have them. These backstories, which have long plagued media, exist because they’re an easy way to create character motivation and people apparently like being miserable. Now, this plan isn’t completely foolproof as there are those who would argue that having nothing tragic would be a tragic itself. That never having to face the harshness of reality at a young age would only set them up to suffer through greater pain later in life.

While that may be true, and would allow for some interesting storytelling it sounds like way too much work.

 

Offended Man Offended That Anime Gives Him Nothing To Be Offended By

Somewhere in Vermont, (Probably)- Local man Aiden Pretentiouston is livid…again. Pretentiouston, known for his prolific ability to manufacture outrage, tweeted to his following about how awful the anime industry is for like the twelfth time…this year. “I can’t believe this” all they’re doing is airing feel-good slice of life series with strictly uplifting messages and themes”. “How am I supposed to lambaste them if they won’t do anything remotely wrong”! We here at SoA were surprised by these tweets as not having anything to rant about hasn’t stopped him before. Grab your popcorn folks, this is going to get wild.

 

Community Stunned After Demon Lord’s Abrupt Retirement

Early Tuesday morning the community was shocked to hear that The Demon Lord announced his retirement. Later that day he delivered quite the press conference.

Honestly, I’ve just had enough and i’m tired. Constantly trying to kill/enslave humanity was never any fun and the only reason I did this was because my parents whined for a month when I said I wanted to be an artist. “Ohhhh how will you find a wife” my mom’d moan. I dunno if she noticed, but her son looks like a radioactive grapefruit that was hit by a truck at mach 5.

I always hated living in that castle, it was so drab and ugly and had no space for entertaining guests. I mean yeah, there was a basement, but I’m not gonna host a dinner party in a torture chamber! That’s just rude.  Besides, I have this beautiful chalet in the mountains with a gorgeous lake view that I never get to use.

Also, I feel terrible for what I’ve done to the hero and her friends. They should be out having fun, living their lives, not fighting Mr. Evil Splattered Grapefruit. I was thinking of sending them this lovely rosé I found as an apology gift but then I remember they’re not old enough to drink and that’d be irresponsible of me. I hope I can come up with something else.

Thank you for coming everyone now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a whole lotta nothin to do.

 

 

 

edit: we had the rosé, it was fabulous.

Fans Angry That Obviously Bad Series is Bad

There’s a lot of confusing things in life. Taco Bell breakfast, people who honk at red lights, or why restaurants rarely fully cut sandwiches. However there’s one thing that surpasses all others: Unreasonable expectations. The latest example in this baffling trend are fans of light novel dumpster fire: My little Sister is a Mafia Boss? In this story some guy finds out his little sister is Al Capone from an alternate universe and they fall in love as dictated by celestial decree.

Now the weird part isn’t that this exists but that there are fans of this borderline crime against humanity but, that they had expectations of it. “We thought it was supposed to be heart-warming romantic-comedy but, it turned out to be fan-service filled trash”, “I can’t believe they would do this to us” said one reader and one of the six people who was actually interested in this mess.