With Rent Prices Soaring Cat Moves Into Banana

It’s no secret rent is outrageous but what can we do? we all need a place to live, right? One cat said “fuck that” and moved into a banana. when asked why he said: “It’s ridiculous”. “I was working two full-time jobs paying $1000 a month for an apartment slightly larger than a galley kitchen”. When asked why he chose a banana as his choice of housing he said “it seemed like the best option”, “it’s cozy, has lots of character, and it’s portable too”. “I think it will let me to really live the way I want to”. The cat, who has since changed his name to, Bananya still has no concrete plans as to what he’ll do when he moves into his new home. “I’ll probably retire, argue with the narrator, and bounce around”.

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Offended Man Offended That Anime Gives Him Nothing To Be Offended By

Somewhere in Vermont, (Probably)- Local man Aiden Pretentiouston is livid…again. Pretentiouston, known for his prolific ability to manufacture outrage, tweeted to his following about how awful the anime industry is for like the twelfth time…this year. “I can’t believe this” all they’re doing is airing feel-good slice of life series with strictly uplifting messages and themes”. “How am I supposed to lambaste them if they won’t do anything remotely wrong”! We here at SoA were surprised by these tweets as not having anything to rant about hasn’t stopped him before. Grab your popcorn folks, this is going to get wild.

 

Community Stunned After Demon Lord’s Abrupt Retirement

Early Tuesday morning the community was shocked to hear that The Demon Lord announced his retirement. Later that day he delivered quite the press conference.

Honestly, I’ve just had enough and i’m tired. Constantly trying to kill/enslave humanity was never any fun and the only reason I did this was because my parents whined for a month when I said I wanted to be an artist. “Ohhhh how will you find a wife” my mom’d moan. I dunno if she noticed, but her son looks like a radioactive grapefruit that was hit by a truck at mach 5.

I always hated living in that castle, it was so drab and ugly and had no space for entertaining guests. I mean yeah, there was a basement, but I’m not gonna host a dinner party in a torture chamber! That’s just rude.  Besides, I have this beautiful chalet in the mountains with a gorgeous lake view that I never get to use.

Also, I feel terrible for what I’ve done to the hero and her friends. They should be out having fun, living their lives, not fighting Mr. Evil Splattered Grapefruit. I was thinking of sending them this lovely rosé I found as an apology gift but then I remember they’re not old enough to drink and that’d be irresponsible of me. I hope I can come up with something else.

Thank you for coming everyone now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a whole lotta nothin to do.

 

 

 

edit: we had the rosé, it was fabulous.

Fans Angry That Obviously Bad Series is Bad

There’s a lot of confusing things in life. Taco Bell breakfast, people who honk at red lights, or why restaurants rarely fully cut sandwiches. However there’s one thing that surpasses all others: Unreasonable expectations. The latest example in this baffling trend are fans of light novel dumpster fire: My little Sister is a Mafia Boss? In this story some guy finds out his little sister is Al Capone from an alternate universe and they fall in love as dictated by celestial decree.

Now the weird part isn’t that this exists but that there are fans of this borderline crime against humanity but, that they had expectations of it. “We thought it was supposed to be heart-warming romantic-comedy but, it turned out to be fan-service filled trash”, “I can’t believe they would do this to us” said one reader and one of the six people who was actually interested in this mess.

Isekai Summoner Questions Logic of Chosen Ones

Background Extra #6- generic summoner has an ax to grind. The wizard, who summons isekai protagonists, is starting to wonder why they bother with the whole “chosen one” thing.

It’s super inefficient. It takes more of our rare and valuable resources to summon a bland teenager than it does to summon deities. Oh, don’t give me that “well he’s actually a supreme god or whatever” because we both know that’s a lie.

Even worse it’ll probably take 36 volumes, 11 seasons, 10 movies, 6 games, and 1 Happy Meal toy collection before he can even fight the first villain. I’m just throwing it out there that maybe we should’ve gone with the omnipotent dragon-god instead of Oatmeal the Human. That way we could save the world in record time. Besides, dragons are cooler.

Mii-kun V Platelet

Ok, Originally I wanted to do a ridiculous post in the style of a Wrestlemania match however, things don’t always go as planned. My brain decided to check out early so instead of that grandiose post I thought I’d give a much more brief explanation of who is the most adorable.

Mii-kun has a strong argument for the cutest character. This is due to a number of factors: His design, the show’s adorable art style, and the expressive animation fuse together to create a tiny mummy who is 100% protect worthy.

While Mii-kun is a prime choice for cutest character of the year he faces serious competition in the platelets from Cells At Work. Similar to Mii-kun their design is adorable and the “doing their best” thing is almost too much to handle. Key word being almost. They may have been in the spotlight a little to much but, I don’t think anyone really minded.

Who’s better: Platelets
Why: Mii-kun and the platelets were evenly matched but I had to pick one. I feel like a monster.

Obligatory Christmas Post

Merry Christmas! (really Christmas Eve) I hope everyone is having a wonderful time so far. I apologize for my lack of posting. I was way busier than I thought I would be (and no I wasn’t just playing Smash) but, now I’m free and can dedicate more time to being a goofball.

I can guarantee I will have one post out before the year:
Mii-kun V Platelet who is the cutest?

That was it, sorry for the rush job but I have family coming over soon and there will be approximately 3 small children with far too much energy trying to talk to me about something.